Islands colliding in the mist
I have spent the last three months on the "orange service." It is the service where we as residents are given the most autonomy in patient care. It has at times been a stretching experience and has at times been quite rewarding. There isn't anyone much more grateful than the patient who has had a colostomy reversed, a cancer removed, etc.
The tough part of the job is being the one to have "the talk" with the person you've just discovered has a cancer. Its especially difficult when the prognosis is clearly not amenable to intervention for cure. I've often thought that at some level that moment isn't fair to either doctor or patient. The people I deliver this sort of news to are people whom I have often not spent more than an hour with, at least where they were conscious. I have no idea who they are, what sort of life they have constructed, what their belief system is like, and cannot anticipate how they will handle the news. By the same token, the patient has no idea who I am, what my belief system is, and whether I feel comfortable with their displays of emotion. The terminal cancer talk, which can be one of the most devastating things anyone ever tells you, takes place between two utter strangers.
Some folks and their families degenerate into rather noisy, dramatic displays of emotion. Others are very matter of fact about the whole thing. Interestingly, people of faith are usually the most unreasonable about accepting a diagnosis of a terminal illness. We in communities of faith like to talk about how we have a reason beyond this life for living, how we are not afraid of death like nonbelievers, etc. However, I have seen these families torture their loved one with weeks or months of futile, agonizing care because "God is gonna heal momma." I remain baffled as to why many non-believers are more accepting of death than believers are. Is it that at some level they recognize it as a normal part of the life cycle? Is it that Christians somehow view God's purpose being one of protecting them from bad things, rather than their purpose being one of eternally worshipping God?
The tough part of the job is being the one to have "the talk" with the person you've just discovered has a cancer. Its especially difficult when the prognosis is clearly not amenable to intervention for cure. I've often thought that at some level that moment isn't fair to either doctor or patient. The people I deliver this sort of news to are people whom I have often not spent more than an hour with, at least where they were conscious. I have no idea who they are, what sort of life they have constructed, what their belief system is like, and cannot anticipate how they will handle the news. By the same token, the patient has no idea who I am, what my belief system is, and whether I feel comfortable with their displays of emotion. The terminal cancer talk, which can be one of the most devastating things anyone ever tells you, takes place between two utter strangers.
Some folks and their families degenerate into rather noisy, dramatic displays of emotion. Others are very matter of fact about the whole thing. Interestingly, people of faith are usually the most unreasonable about accepting a diagnosis of a terminal illness. We in communities of faith like to talk about how we have a reason beyond this life for living, how we are not afraid of death like nonbelievers, etc. However, I have seen these families torture their loved one with weeks or months of futile, agonizing care because "God is gonna heal momma." I remain baffled as to why many non-believers are more accepting of death than believers are. Is it that at some level they recognize it as a normal part of the life cycle? Is it that Christians somehow view God's purpose being one of protecting them from bad things, rather than their purpose being one of eternally worshipping God?
posted by The Mad Hatter at 1:17 PM
6 Comments:
I won't attempt to answer your questions in the last paragraph. I just want to say the image of islands colliding in the mist seems a very good way of describing how it is to deal with those situations. Grace and strength to you! Mom
In Pentacostal circles, certainly. Amy's background and a number of my friends viewpoints has exposed me to the thought pattern that God has the power to do anything he wants, and He will; this is correct. Where they go wrong is that God has the power to make it go away, but He doesn't, and they are not willing to accept the fact that God will not always act on their desires. They see God as an ATM or the mother of a pesty child: "I don't know what God is thinking. It doesn't matter if I spend 1,2, or 8 hours a day in prayer, God just won't give me what I want." That is an actual quote of a friend of mine. The thinking is that extreme sorrow/nagging will make God feel bad for them/get tired of hearing about it and give what is asked just to make them be quiet. They believe they can tell God what to do, and He must do it.
People without religion have no place to go for a source of peace; they accept events as unchangeable and therefore have something similar to peace. Christians could learn something from nonbelievers, but the contrast is God's will versus happenstance.
PS-- Amy's mom died of cancer because her preacher told her to refuse medical treatment, and just pray. He told her if she has enough faith, prays enough, and believes enough that God will heal her, He will; if not, then it is proof that she does not have enough faith.
That same man died earlier this year of a disease he fought for some time.
I am somewhat passionate about this subject.
Hans,I couldn't have said it better and couldn't agree more with your observations in this writing.
I think the problem believers face is the idea that an all powerful being would just let their family member, friend or anyone die. It is easy to accept the death if you are conditioned to believe that everything in life is a roll of the dice or only governed by chance.
Most Christians seem to wrongly believe that God only allows good things to happen and has nothing to do with the bad. However, that conclusion not only is illogical (considering that God is defined as all powerful) but the Bible goes further to explicitly states that God 'afflicted' David's son.
While I have long believed that physical death is not the end and that better things are in the future, I still have a hard time accepting a God that manipulates like a thug who goes after a man's family to force his cooperation. It is a very uncomfortable prospect.
I suppose it is just another question to pile on top of many more that I don't have the answers to. While I constantly look for reasons behind everything that happens to me or those I love, I would rather believe that everything in my life is governed by nothing more than chance.
Interesting comments! Do we humans tend to have more faith in "our faith" than in the Living God?
If more faith were the Ultimate Remedy for terminal illness, what is the value of the Resurrection?
Besides, who wants to stay here on earth forever?
Betty Ann
Post a Comment
<< Home