Chaos and Mayhem

I'm sure that all of you all are much better behaved than me, and never ever have evil impulses. Sometimes you wonder where in the world some ideas come from.

For instance, I was walking through the hospital the other day. My route took me through the pediatric hospital. There is a little library/play room for the kids there. There was a big sign on the door saying "Radio-a-thon" on the door, and a very prim, proper looking lady was talking into a microphone. I desperately wanted to pound on the windows, make faces through the glass, or even burst into the room screeching like a banshee. The very thought of it all gave me the sniggers for the rest of the day.

Then the other day, I was taking my garbage to the dumpster. My thoughts were on making enough noise when I got there so as not to startle the raccoon that normally is feasting in the dumpster that time of night. The aforementioned beast and I both had a very startling experience one dark night when we met. I had tossed my bag of garbage into the dumpster when I flying ball of fur came whizzing back at me. Anyway, I digress. As I said earlier, I was walking towards the dumpster thinking about the raccoon. I came up on a big fire engine parked in the street with its engine running. There were no firemen in the vehicle as they were all off somewhere in the vicinity doing firemen sorts of things. From deep in my childhood fascination with big red fire engines came this urge to climb into the drivers seat, flip on the sirens and lights, and go hurtling around town at 90 mph running all the lights.

Maybe I need some of that "xnax" that some of my patients talk about. (Known as xanax in dialects other than hill-billy.) Hill-billies also have high-needle or hyenal hernias instead of hiatal hernias. But that is unrelated to the general theme of sowing chaos and mayhem.